Care Is a Verb

We use the word care all the time. We say we care about people. We tell people we care. But what does care actually mean?

In this episode, we explore why care is more than a feeling; it's a way of moving and being in relationships. We look at why someone can genuinely feel something for us without actually caring for us, how care is demonstrated through behavior rather than words, and why learning to care for ourselves changes what we're willing to accept from others.

We explore:

• Why care is a verb, not just a feeling.
• The difference between saying you care and behaving in caring ways.
• Why words alone don't create the experience of being cared for.
• How care often requires us to move beyond our own comfort and convenience.
• Why staying present with another person's discomfort is an act of care.
• How self-protection can prevent us from caring well for others.
• Why learning to care for yourself changes what you'll accept in relationships.
• How unmet experiences of care shape the relationships we build.
• Why people should be able to feel your care, not just hear you say it.

Episode Thoughts to Sit With

"Many of us don't actually know what caring is. Many of us don't actually have the experience of being cared for."

"You can be in relationship with people and they cannot feel cared for... Your words alone do not create a sense in my body of being cared for, especially if your words are saying one thing and your behavior is saying another."

"Care is the ability and capacity to remain in relationship when my comfort is extended or when my comfort is challenged."

"Some people will leave you in that by yourself. They will dismiss you, project on you, tell you you're wrong, walk away, laugh at you. And when people do that, that is not caring for you."

"Care translates to behavior. Care translates to holding one in esteem as much as you hold yourself in esteem."

"You have to care for you. To start to require care from others, you have to get used to what care feels like internally."

"People need to be able to feel what we say we feel about them. They need to know it, not because we say it, but because they can feel it."

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Thank you for listening to The Reality Between Us.